Summary of Mandatory Fun
(by Andrew Lloyd, aka Baron Harkonnen)Welcome to the Summer of Mandatory Fun!
Although a good time was had by most of the people involved in many of the POPnet activities of last summer, I have received numerous complaints that 1989 was--in many ways--a nonevent. Dates, names, and events were hard to put together into a cohesive collective memory. After carefully ignoring the mistakes of the past, the concept of the Summer of Mandatory Fun (hereinafter "SMF") was born. SMF is an attempt not only to help our future memories by carefully codifying and logging the events that might take place over the next several months but, also, to mandate that everyone have a good time.
It is the opinion of the SMF co-ordinating committee (hereinafter "SMF HQ")--a group of semi-anonymous and self-appointed individuals--that fun does not happen. Rather, fun must be enforced with ruthless efficiency and unrelenting zeal. Therefore, it is the duty of all involved in SMF to ensure that no individual who takes part will be allowed to not have a good time. SMF HQ has established several guidelines that will be used throughout the next several months to maximize fun and to optimize its actualization wherever possible. With these guidelines we hope can help to correct inefficiencies in the fun-enforcing process.
SMF HQ will do its best to assist SMF participation by using, recording, and referring to these statistics as both a source of feedback as well as one of potential extortion. Certain values will be kept on file to see how the SMF is progressing as well as each of our individual achievements in maintaining a professional standard of fun.
The first definitions involve an ability to establish feedback for SMF activities.
Potential Fun Factor (PFV): PFV is to be used in posts and in other publications about SMF activities to publicly establish, on an integer scale of 1-10, a reasonable expectation of how much fun can be reasonably aspired to. For instance, a gathering at Clayton Valley Miniature Gold has a PFV on the order of 3 while a trip to have a bonfire on a public beach at midnight's PFV would be approximately a 9. This value will be set previous to the event by the organizer or posting part of the event and is not subject to change except through a three-fourths vote of all parties present and even then the PFV cannot be changed more than 1 point from its original value.
Actual Fun Value (AFV): AFV is set by a general consensus of how much fun was actually had and should be reported to SMF HQ. The AFV is set on a decimal scale from 0 to the PFV1 value (i.e., an AFV range on a PFV activity is 0-7). Records will be kept of both individual and group APV values for every activity. On rare occasions, AFV can exceed PFV by up to 1 point. For instance, if you play a round of miniature gold on Tuesday night (PFF2) but meet three 22 year old stewardesses who work for Air France and you agreed to meet them for drinks afterwards, your APV can safely be assumed to be over the PFV. (This should be rare.)
Charted Fun Value (CFA): The CFA is a statistic that charts an individual's ability to have fun and how much fun they are having, something akin to a major league batting average. It's a statistic that can tell how much fun you are having for the amount of fun that has been available to you. Realizing that a good time at a movie event can easily be less fun than a mediocre time at an overnight campout the CFA is an attempt to reconcile your ability to have fun with the amount of fun available. CFA is found simply by dividing the AFV by the PFV (i.e., APV5.5 at a PFV activity yields a CFA of .757). Overall CFA values can be found by simply averaging your CFAs for the separate activities.
Timed Fun Product (TFP): The TFP is a way to tell how much fun you had at a given activity and is an absolute value. To derive your your TFP one must look at their AFV for an activity and multiply it by the duration, in increments of 15 minutes (i.e., an AFV4 activity that lasts 1 hour would give you a TFP of 16, an AFV9 activity that lasted five hours would give you a TFP of 180).
Total Timed Fun Product (TTFP) can be found by adding up the TFPs of everyone involved in an activity.
Over Extension Capacity (OEC): Every time your AFV exceeds the PFV value, you gain a point on your OEC index. OEC is essentially meant to point out how well you can surpass normal expectations of fun.
Saves Suppose an activity takes the group to Stinson Beach and suppose it rains. Rather than sulking and going home to veg on TV, the group instead makes a field trip to the redwoods and still has fun. While the AFV will be relayed in terms of the PFV of a beach trip, every person involved receives a Save for coping with a situation potentially hostile to fun.
Kinds of FunA second set of definitions which should be used in the planning of such activities is what kind of fun is to be had. These three terms are meant as rough guidelines to help explain the kind of fun that is to be had (i.e., "(Body Bag) We're meeting up for a game of Ultimate at Heather Farms. Should be some intermediate fun with a PFV of 6. Be there at 8.")
Beginning Fun Beginning Fun is something we all understand. It is certainly not bad, it is just simply uncomplicated. Miniature Golf, Movie Socials (dread the thought) Round Table-Treat and staring at each other in the parking lot of Heather Farms on a hot summer night all qualify as beginning fun and can be undertaken safely by almost any individual connect to SMF. Beginning Fun is generally low in cost and can often involve numerous variants within this subgroup. PFVs for Beginning Fun range between 1-5 generally.
Intermediate Fun More organized activities or activities that involve driving over 30 miles can probably be safely recognized as Intermediate Fun. A trip to Great America or to the Water Slides could safely be recognized as intermediate fun. Intermediate Fun is often the most expensive kind in both driving expenses and such things as admission to various activities. Intermediate Fun PFVs range between 3-7 but can run higher or lower.
Advanced Fun Hazardous or well-organized activities or activities that involved more than 100 miles of driving should be safely considered advanced fun. Road rallies, day trips to unorthodox locales, ice sliding, glow-in-the-dark football and certain overnight activities are some examples of Advanced Fun. Advanced Fun--which often costs less than Intermediate Fun--can involve the use of personal and family resources (Frisbees, hot tubs, household pets, etc.) but generally involves little capital expenditure. Well-organized Advanced Fun can have PFVs approaching 10.
Fun Negation Planning Factors (FNPFs) FNPF is a pool that is added to by your planning an activity. Points are given at a rate of 5% of the TTFI (see above) of an activity planning. FPNP are used as follows: In any need to organize an activity when a certain activity has dropped below a CFA of .200 (approximately) the individual with the least number of FNPFs must make a decision--or at least offer a palatable suggestion--to the crowd at large. Mind you, the person who organizes this alternate activity will be awarded FNPFs for such an activity at their full value.